Mommy has to go to the doctor's...

Being a kid today is not what it used to be. Cell phones, Internet, and reality TV shows did not exist during my early years, and I am quite thankful that they didn't. Jaded as I might be from my own childhood, I think kids today are pretty much doomed in terms of forming healthy social interactions and general outlook towards life. As if the situation wasn't bad enough, now comes a book for children that is written by a doctor "to help patients explain their transformation to their children." Perhaps this is what's becoming the norm for children living in and around Los Angeles and any other parts of the country obsessed with appearances. Mommy looked like herself when she dropped off her kids at school, but by the time they get out, she's wrapped in bandages. And imagine the trauma on kids when they see their mother's face all bruised from the surgery.

Instead of coming out and saying that "mommy has body image and confidence issues," this book seems to give modern parents an easy jail-free card to tell children that they can change whatever they don't like about themselves through some painful and expensive surgery. An estimated 400,000 women have undergone cosmetic surgery in 2007 with young children, according to the publisher. Perhaps the more responsible thing would've been to leave a couple of thousand dollars in their children's college fund, but that's just my lowly opinion that nobody other than my zero readers on this blog will read about.

Alas, the book is sold out on Amazon, and it was only released this past week. If only I came up with the idea first...

Hello Mr. and Mrs. President

This is SO wrong. And yet, I couldn't resist embedding it here because it was so GOOD. I've been on a self-imposed media blackout, mainly because most of the news related to the presidential elections is rarely newsworthy anymore. This was the first presidential election in which I voted, and I felt good about doing my part as a civic citizen, but then I lost my excitement and tuned myself out of all the banter. Plus, it's depressing to see that there are so many people in the country that will support McCain. Out of all the Republican candidates, I thought he was the least threatening. But then I heard some of his comments, and now I just think he's just as bad as the others, just in a different way. If there was a way to fast forward to November, I'd do it in a GranoLA minute.

"Fierce"

To follow up on a previous post about Project Runway, a random thought popped into my mind this week during one of my sleepless nights. Fads and trends are not hard to notice around these parts of HelLA, and that also applies to words and jargons. Trends are often influenced by the worst of all sources, not the least of which includes celebutantes and reality TV shows.

"Fierce" currently seems to be the word-of-the-moment, as Christian's win on Project Runway and his frequent usage of the term has made the expression very modish. It's also pretty gay, which might also explain why I'm now inclined to use the word as many times as possible in a given sentence. Sort of like the modern day "fabulous!" However, "fierce" has been around for a long while in the splendiferous world of gaydom, and Christian only made it mainstream by overusing it on the airwaves.

What other words and expressions have been transplanted into the mainstream language?

• Hot (or haut)
  
• Splendiferous
  
• Tight
  
• Dope
  
• Fo shizzle
  

And many more for sure.

Project Runway

I have been having mixed feeling about Project Runway's winner from last week. Personally, Jillian had a collection that was more realistic and wearable. Aside from my own personal views, I still found the following SNL skit very entertaining.

Car, why are you so selfish?

If my car was a breathing and conscious thing, I'd ask why it has to be so selfish and demand so much money to be thrown at it. Is it not enough that I fork over a couple of bucks per week on gas alone? Maybe I haven't always been good to you. But I've stopped being an abusive owner, and it has been a long while since I went in excess of 90 mph. I do admit I can still be rough when going through Bel Air and the twists/turns of Sunset beckons me to go as fast as the 106 horsepower from your engine would allow me to. But did you really need the new brakes I bought you yesterday? That could've gone into buying a new drivetrain for my bike. Or my airfare for that trip in June I'm planning.

To be completely honest, though, you've been very good to me. You saw me through thick and thin in high school and college. And when you turned 120,000 miles today, I felt nostalgic and sentimental. I might think you're selfish, but I'm also thankful for all the years you've been reliable. Never once did you leave me stranded on the side, and I guess that's why I should continue to drive you for another few more months. I just hope that your replacement will be as nice to me as you have.

Even though I refer to my car as a living being in this post, I have not named it.

I "heart" you

moar humorous pics

How was your Valentine's? My sentiment for V-Day is aptly summarized in the photo above. If it was a living being, then I'd tell it to kiss my ass. Next year, I'm going to throw an angry/bitter/lonely single's party, all for the good cause of giving ol' Valentine a middle finger. Or rather, maybe I should celebrate Singles Awareness Day. Perhaps not to the extent of the Lovers-go-die club, but you get the picture. The trademark for Singles Awareness Day is, ironically, held by two attorneys. While Singles Awareness Day is celebrated on or around February 14th, Singles Day is celebrated in China on November 11th. The symbolism of four "ones" lined up in the date (11/11) never really occurred to me, but I have to give credit to the Chinese cleverness.

I think I gorged on one Twix mini, one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, three carmel-filled Kisses, and a KitKat bar on the fateful V-Day. What better way to feel even more single when you're grossly overweight and fat?

Aww...

This picture could've been me, except I'd also have a martini glass in the other hand while I talked smack about the neighborhood kids.

But seriously, I'm thankful that every restaurant and bar facilities in California do not permit smoking indoors. I remember when I'd go to the Roseland Theater in Portland and come out not being able to breathe. Don't get me started on smelling like cigarettes after going out clubbing.